Agam's Gecko
Thursday, November 02, 2006
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This is a sense of humour.

he junior senator from Beantown spoke to some college kids in California the other day. He opened his beanhole, and out popped this:
"You know, education, if you make the most of it, if you study hard and you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, uh, you, you can do well. If you don’t, you get stuck in Iraq."
Hmmm. Recent research shows that the US military is currently the best educated it has ever been, the trend is toward increasing quality, and as a whole they are better educated than the young American population at large. As the Senator later himself admitted, one cannot enter the service without studying hard and graduating.

After weathering some criticism for his remarks, including from his own party, he revised them retroactively. He didn't mean that lazy students would themselves get stuck in Iraq. He meant that they might later become a moron President, and get other people stuck in Iraq. It was a "botched joke" against Chimpy McHitlerburton!

The problem with this revision, is that he cannot come right out and say that President Bush is stupid, didn't do his homework, and failed to get an education (like the warning in his "joke"). For there is that nagging comparison arising from the fact that both Kerry and Bush attended a common Ivy League school -- Yale. In their respective endeavours at the same institution, Kerry's grade point average was marginally lower than the "moron in chief."

Kerry went on to get a law degree, Bush acquired Bachelor and Masters degrees -- the former from Harvard. I've no idea whether a Harvard Bachelor diploma is customarily awarded to those who don't study, don't do homework, or don't make an effort. My Harvard informant is tight-lipped on academic life, but somehow I doubt these are handed out to moronic, lazy academic failures (who get stuck in Iraq).

Maybe he meant that students should study hard so they can grow up to be a high-class [mumble, mumble] like him, who doesn't get stuck in Iraq but gets to live on his second wife's first husband's bean and ketchup fortune.

But despite the bipartisan criticism, he soldiered on... No Retreat. Ever Forward. No Apology. On the Offence.
"Let me make it crystal clear, as crystal clear as I know how. I apologise to no one for my criticism of the president ... "
And he went on to blame the whole kerfuffle on Bush and the dastardly Rethuglicans, who refuse to debate real men like him. At the end of this fiery display of fortitude, he took a couple of softballs from Seattle journalists, telling one that he would not let "them" do it to him again.
"That is a lesson I learned deep and hard."
Ouch. Deep and hard.

After Tony Snow spent another session in the White House Press Day Care Centre responding to the kidz fixation on why Bush doesn't apologise, why Cheney doesn't apologise, why Limbaugh doesn't apologise better, etc. -- with a suggestion that a simple, "I'm sorry," could just possibly be the way to go, the Senator's own website introduced his next reply thusly:
Senator John Kerry issued the following statement in response to White House Press Secretary Tony Snow, assorted right wing nut-jobs, and right wing talk show hosts ...
Way to show your intelligence there, Lurch. Nut jobs!
"I’m sick and tired of these despicable Republican attacks ..."

"I’m not going to be lectured by a stuffed suit White House mouthpiece standing behind a podium ..."
All he did was tell you what your mother should have told you. Just say you're sorry... and it's over. Or, you could try explaining that you opposed the joke before you made it. Or, that you made the joke before you opposed it, or something. Which might be hard, since it's "crystal clear" that you "apologise to no one." In this resolute statement, he said that anyone who actually thought he would criticise the troops was crazy.

In 1971 he returned from his 3 months in Vietnam to brand the US military "at all levels" as a rampaging hoard of atrocity-committing barbarians -- just like "Jenjis Khan." Last year he branded troops serving in Iraq with accusations of abusing "kids and children... women" indiscriminately. No, anyone who thinks he would ever criticise the troops must be crazy.

Later still, he called in to Don Imus. He got a little bit sorry, but not for the insulted service men and women, or their families.
"I said it was a botched joke. Of course, I’m sorry about a botched joke."
It was a start. He'll "apologise to no one," but sorry for a botched joke. By the way, in that interview, he claimed there were two main problems in Iraq. Too few troops on the ground. And, too many troops on the ground.

Then soon after, came a text statement which read in part:
"I sincerely regret that my words were misinterpreted to wrongly imply anything negative about those in uniform, and I personally apologize to any service member, family member, or American who was offended."
Bra. Vo. What had been "crystal clear" was no longer operative. He just opposed the apology before he was for it. The problem now becomes, that the people he is now "apologising" to, are the ones who only yesterday were "crazy" for misunderinterpretating him. He's sorry for accidentally calling them stupid, but is he sorry for later calling them "crazy?" We may never know -- all his campaign appearances have now been cancelled.

It's possible his intention was to call President Bush stupid and uneducated. But see above for their comparative performance at Yale. It seems unlikely he doesn't know about that (even though it was infrequently mentioned by the MSM). However, exhorting a sympathetic group of students to study hard, for if they don't they'll get stuck in Iraq, fits well with a core nutroots canard. Which is that privileged and middle class kids don't go into the military -- only poor, inner city minorities who can't get into college. Which is a false, but standard talking point. Among the current service personel, education is higher than in the population, with suburban and rural origins, and middle class families over-represented, while inner city origins and poorer families are under represented.

Follow the above link in the photo of troops on the ground, to see the full size version at Hot Air. Those men and women are enjoying their sense of humour. They might be able to give the jokester some pointers on how to have one. Then take a look at HA's front page and Top Picks (earlier posts in The Vault) if you'd like to view video clips of what was really said, and by whom.

I quite enjoyed reading John Kerry's Blog yesterday. He posted the transcript of his tough and decisive press conference... and was promptly shot down in comments running about 10 to 1 against him. Some are from soldiers or their families, others from Democrats telling him to please shut up. Like Imus said, "Go windsurfing, or something." Wai Tim Blair.

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