Agam's Gecko
Tuesday, February 14, 2006

eporters in the White House Briefing Room were yesterday involved in a frenzy of self inflicted buckshot pepperings, as they climbed over one another hoping for a clear shot at the White House spokesman. Scott McClellan fended off their volleys for 22 minutes while in full exposure at close range; counting, recounting and re-recounting the chain of events which had led to an actual eye-witness being the first on Sunday morning to reveal the facts of Mr. Cheney's accidental buckshot spray on his friend Saturday evening -- rather than following the "chain of command" according to traditional journalistic protocol. Failure to follow this protocol would indicate that the Commander in Chief has been grossly negligent with regard to informing the American public of this important issue in a timely manner.

While the Vice Presidential Threat Advisory has been raised to "Orange," it's great to know that David Gregory still knows how to throw a conniption, and that his comrades continue to guard liberty in their time-honoured fashion, with such as these well-aimed sprays of quail-shot:
"Is it possible for the Vice President to offer his resignation?"

"Under Texas law is this kind of accidental shooting a possible criminal offence?"

"Would this be much more serious if the man had died?"
Now that's the Fourth Estate that probably makes every American proud. Why, the Washington Post's Dana Milbank even went on TV in matching "Threat Level Orange" safety vest and toque! He looked just like a friendly school crossing monitor though, rather than a fierce bird hunter. Oh, I get it! He was in a studio in the same county as the VP's residence, so he was taking pro-active measures not to get shot. Very clever those WaPo journalists are, if Mr. Milbank is any example.

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